The Incident
by Precious Pup
Summary: McGee's Mom comes to visit NCIS Headquarters and tells the team about a situation when Tim was young referred to in the family only as The Incident. Humorous one shot on my version of what Tims family is like.


Tony watched with curiosity as an attractive well dressed older woman stepped off the elevator with McGee in tow. She was petite with long dark hair and as Tony watched she licked her thumb and wiped an invisible smudge off his face with it while McGee protested and rolled his eyes.

"Mom! Must you do that? Please I'm at work. You promised you wouldn't make a scene."

"Oh Timothy now don't be such a baby!"

Tony smiled and watched as McGee regretfully tugged on her arm and walked her into the Bullpen.

"Mom, Angela this is Agent Gibbs, Officer David and Agent DiNozzo. You have already met Abby. Ok you have met them now can we just go please?" Tim pleaded as he quickly introduced the team.

"Oh don't be silly Timothy. I have been waiting to meet these people since you joined NCIS. I'm hardly going to just disappear without speaking to them."

Angela beamed at them with eyes the same light shade of green as her son as she walked from desk to desk and shook hands with each of them.

Tony gave Angela his brightest smile. "Well now Mrs. McGee to what do we owe the pleasure?"

"Oh please call me Angela. Mrs. McGee is for my mother in law. Besides I feel like I know you all. Well its not often I'm in town and it's my birthday next week so Timothy has arranged to take me out to lunch. I have wanted to come and see where he works for years but he has never let me so this time I insisted."

Angela dropped her voice to a stage whisper "He always thinks I'm going to embarrass him"

Gibbs smirked while Tim rolled his eyes and Abby laughed.

Tony who was now standing and leaning casually against his own desk sensed a goldmine of potential Probie torture so he continued the conversation, ignoring McGee's frantic hand signals to stop.

"So Angela were you the one to encourage young Timothy here to join up with a Federal Agency?"

"Well I always said he could join any agency he wanted … as long as it wasn't the CIA."

"You don't approve of the CIA?" Ziva asked curiously as she to came around from behind her desk.

"Uh Ok time to go Mom." McGee started to insist, tugging on her arm which Angela ignored turning to address Ziva instead.

"I have had no respect for that particular organization. Not since _THE INCIDENT_" Angela gave McGee a meaningful look and Tim blushed and squirmed.

Tony delighted sensed a story and enquired further "The Incident?"

"You never told them? I was sure with having a sealed file on your record you would have to tell them all eventually" Angela furrowed her brow in a familiar way and looked up at her tall son who looked like he wanted the world to open up and swallow him.

Gibbs eyebrows were up "McGee? You have a sealed file? How on earth did you get your security clearance?"

Just as McGee opened his mouth Angela swooped in "Oh well he got a special sort of exemption because he was still a minor."

Gibbs quirked an eyebrow curiously at McGee who blushed.

"You got a sealed criminal file on your record as a minor? What the hell did you do McGee?"

"Campfire!" Tony called out delightedly and bustled Angela into a chair and wheeled her into the center of the bullpen while the others arranged herself around her. McGee glared at his co workers and sat defensively behind his desk and crossed his arms.

"Campfire?" Angela wondered

"It's where we all get together to work out the details of something important. Like McGee doing something so terrible that he got himself a sealed file… as a minor" Tony gleefully informed her.

Angela looked at her son for permission to continue but he shot her a mortified look instead.

"I would like it noted for the record that this is under protest"

"Oh hush Timothy. Really if you didn't want me to tell them you should have told them yourself. And don't huff at your Mother"

"I didn't huff at you " McGee huffed sulkily back

"Noted" Ziva called as if she was taking minutes

Abby grinned mischievously at McGee "So Angela why don't you like the CIA and what does it have to do with Timmy's _Incident_?"

Angela primly placed her hands in her lap and then leaned into her eager audience.

"Well it was the just before Timothy was going to head off to MIT. He was accelerated through his classes so he was still pretty young. Anyway Sarah was still only little and I was baking my famous double fudge brownies in the kitchen. That reminds me Timothy I have some of those for you. Remind me later to give them to you."

Tim just scowled while Tony made a note to steal some of those same brownies for himself. Yummy home cooked Mommy made with extra love and fudge brownies.

Angela blithely continued oblivious to her sons growing discomfort.

"Anyway Grandma McGee was watching the sound of music in the living room and keeping an eye on Sarah for me while I baked for the Church fete. I heard Grandma McGee scream loudly and the next minute I look up and who do I see?"

"Who?" Ziva was entranced at this strange snapshot into her teammate's family life so different from her own.

"A man with a GUN! Pointed right at me!"

"No!" Ziva was surprised. What did this have to do with McGee? Perhaps his childhood wasn't so different from her own?

Angela sensed her audience in the palm of her hand and even Gibbs had to admit he was curious.

"Well I reacted instinctively. I heard screaming and my little girl was crying in the next room. How dare he come into my home and threaten me and my family? I was so mad I just swung at him with the pan of hot double fudge brownies I had pulled out of the oven and I got him right in the face. He was so surprised. I don't think he thought I would do anything. Well when he fell to the ground screaming I kicked him hard and took his gun. I don't like guns in the house so I threw it out the window into the fish pond."

"The fish pond?" Tony said wonderingly

"Shush Tony you're interrupting" Abby told Tony off and Ziva glared at him before turning back to Angela.

"And then what did you do?" Gibbs had to admire her spirit and he could see now where Sarah got her feisty temper as well as her small dark looks.

"Well I ran into the living room to get to my little baby girl of course. Luckily Grandma McGee took out the second intruder."

"There was another man?" Tony asked surprised and then bit his tongue as Ziva glared at him again for interrupting.

"Oh yes. He had a gun too. Grandma McGee had screamed in surprise but then she had thrown her hot cup of tea into his face and then knocked him out by smashing some of the Wedgewood china we had displayed on the wall across his head. Well as you can imagine I was terrified. A violent home invasion. I grabbed Grandma and little Sarah and headed straight to the car. I flipped up the garage door and shot out of there like a bat out of heck."

"That's hell Mom. Its bat out of hell" McGee instinctively corrected her after three years of working with Ziva.

"There is no reason to swear Timothy. Just because you're a Federal Agent now doesn't mean you should suddenly turn into a potty mouth." Angela frowned at McGee.

Tim opened his mouth to argue and then decided it probably wasn't a good idea. He sighed and flushed strangely embarrassed at being told off by this mother in front of his colleagues even after all these years and started to study the floor. Abby smiled gently and took pity on him.

"So you were in the car ….."

"And that's when I got the third one"

"Another one? Seriously?' Tony looked across at McGee who simply nodded and screwed his eyes shut

"Well he screamed at us to stop but I had my family in the car. What did he think I was going to do? He was raising his gun to shoot at us or well that what I thought so I ran him over."

"Just like that you ran him over? Cool." Abby grinned and flicked her eyes at McGee's mortified face which was being hid behind his hands.

"Oh I didn't kill him or anything I just sort of flicked him over the hood of the car. But I did leave him in a crumpled heap in the driveway and then I headed straight to the police station." Angela finished proudly

Gibbs pondered this for a second.

"Okay I'll bite. So what does this have to do with you not liking the CIA or McGee getting criminal record?"

Abby clapped her hands delightedly "Oh did teenage Timmy in a rage at those that hurt his family try to take them out and go on a dangerous vendetta?"

Tony laughed at the ridiculous notion while McGee looked like he wasn't sure if he should be disgusted or proud that Abby thought him capable of such a thing.

Angela squirmed a bit "Ah well that's where it got a bit tricky. You see it turns out that those three men were CIA Agents and they were trying to track down someone who had been tinkering around trying to hack into Langley."

Tony burst out laughing while Abby clapped a hand over her mouth.

"Oh Timothy! You naughty boy" Abby giggled while Ziva just shook her head smiling

Gibbs turned wondering to Angela "You took out three trained CIA agents?"

Angela blushed "Well no only one really. Grandma McGee had one and the car really took care of the other. But that's why you see I don't think much of the CIA. If an elderly Grandmother and woman surprised can take out three of their so called best they can't be very good can they?" Angela sniffed disdainfully while Gibbs smiled.

"Take this as a warning" Angela mock sternly shook her finger at them "You take on one McGee you take on all of them. And there are a LOT of us. Practically an international organization. And you never, ever hurt their children" Angela flicked a quick private look across at Gibbs and Gibbs gave her a tiny nod back in return. He would look after her son.

Tony leaned in laughing "You make the McGee's sound like the Mafia"

Angela sat back and stared sternly at Tony for an instant.

"Wait. You were the one who super glued Timothy's head to the table didn't you?"

"Mom" McGee protested

Tony's smile slipped from his face under the weight of the matriarchal force being brought to bear and he sort of shuffled his feet awkwardly as he sat in the chair.

"Err yes?"

"Mom"

"You're not going to do that again are you Anthony?"

"No Mrs. McGee" Tony flushed as Angela continued to calmly stare him down. Damn she would be good in interrogation.

"Good boy" Angela leaned forward with a smile and patted Tony's arm, friends again.

"Mom! Please can you stop threatening my co workers now?" McGee whined plaintively

Gibbs smirked and Ziva laughed at Tony's brief discomfort

Abby clapped her hands excitedly "Okay, enough about Tony. What happened next?"

"It was all a bit of a scandal really. Apparently they announced themselves as Agents before coming in but with the movie being up so loud because of Grace, that's Timothy's Grandmother and her poor hearing and the blender going in the kitchen I never heard a thing. I was down at the Police station in near hysterics calling everyone I know trying to find out where Timothy was in case he was in some sort of trouble. The Police went around to the house to find out what happened and then brought them all down to the station to talk with me. Suddenly I was being interrogated by the CIA over my young son's activities and whereabouts and being threatened with assault charges." Angela shot McGee a look and he had the grace to look embarrassed.

Tony grinned at McGee and watched him blush.

"So where was the young anarchist then while you were defending the fort?"

Angela smiled at McGee who actually covered his face with his hands

"Oh you can't hide from me young man. Well while I was having a gun shoved into my face Timothy was having kinky sex with a cheerleader three streets away!"

Tony's jaw dropped and everyone stared at McGee.

"Oh come on now I was NOT having sex with her!" McGee protested violently

Angela just looked at him "Yes so you say but I don't believe you. A Mother always knows. You've always had a thing for cheerleaders and you're telling me you were alone with her in her room and you didn't….?'

McGee blushed a rather violent shade of red as he protested "Mom! Ok we were making out but we weren't.. you know. And it was nothing kinky either."

"Was she or was she not in her little uniform?" Angela primly enquired.

McGee flustered "Well yes but she had just come home from practice … so of course she was wearing her uniform…. and I had promised I would help her with her biology otherwise she would have to do summer school and then well she…" McGee trailed off and squirmed in his chair.

Tony wiggled his eyebrows and gave Tim the thumbs up "The old biology excuse then Probie?"

McGee just shot him a dark look.

"Look let me put it this way. Do you think I could be keeping an eye on a complex remote program on a home computer to hack into the CIA and simultaneously having sex with the Captain of the Cheer Leading squad? I don't think so"

Angela suddenly smiled brightly at her son and leaned over and patted his hand. "Well you are _very _clever. I wouldn't put anything past you"

McGee just groaned and softly banged his head on the desk in front of him. Abby sniggered at his apparent distress.

"Yes well anyway Old Mrs. Young (that's their next door neighbor) said she never thought you could move so fast. She saw you shoot out of Amy's bedroom window and down the rose lattice like your life depended on it. Shirtless I might add. Although thinking about it, your life probably did depend on it.'

Gibbs gave Angela a curious look but it was McGee who explained with a painful long suffering sigh.

"Amy was not only Head Cheerleader but she was Coach Mawlers daughter and he didn't take too kindly to finding me on his daughter's bed. With his daughter."

Abby winked at McGee who blushed again. "Such a naughty boy Timothy"

Tony eagerly turned back to McGee's mother.

"So what happened?"

"Well Timothy got hauled in and told in no uncertain terms never to do such a thing again. The CIA tried to hush everything up as it was a bit of a debacle. They even arranged for me to get replacement Wedgewood, which was nice of them. The criminal record bit was sealed as Tim was still so young and first offense and all that but he still had to get charged due to the seriousness of it all. He actually got into some section he shouldn't have I believe which made it worse and then there were the injured agents obviously as well. In the end Timothy disappeared off to MIT a bit earlier than originally planned. I was glad when he said he wanted to go into law enforcement actually as it seemed the only way to really keep him out of trouble."

Ziva looked at McGee with a smirk

"It sounds like your house was very exciting McGee"

McGee tried to change the subject. Again

"I really think we should go to lunch now Mom. I'm sure you have taken up enough of everyone's time."

There was a chorus of denials and Angela smiled fondly at them.

"Aren't you all so lovely? Timothy talks about you all so much it feels like you are all practically family. Oh actually that reminds me. Before I go, Timothy if anyone contacts you from the Chinese Embassy can you please assure them that your Father isn't a Tibetan peace activist?"

McGee furrowed his brow "What? Why?"

Angela busied herself in her purse rummaging for her lipstick "Oh you know your father. His curiosity got him in trouble again. He needs an armed guard to keep him out of trouble every time he steps out of the house."

McGee felt the team staring at him again and hastened to explain "Ah my Father is a research geologist. He studies rocks and cracks and fissures at different important sites around the world depending on what he is studying."

Angela smiled fondly "How can you not love a man who gets excited by shale?"

"Shale?" Ziva queried in face puzzled

"Oh it's a sort of black sharp cracked rock and generally means there is oil somewhere around. And apparently that means fissures and that means seismic activity which means … you know ….exciting stuff." Angela laughed

McGee furrowed his brow again "I thought Dad was in Antarctica investigating some potential new deposit for the gas exploration companies?"

Angela shook her head "Oh no that was last month. I know you're busy but you should try and speak to him more often. You two used to talk all the time. No he's done with that and was offered a position on a research team looking at a prehistoric asteroid crater in China. He was very excited about it and he had barely unpacked his cramp on's, ice pick and thermal gear before off he went again. Seems he followed some underground fault line and ended up on the other side of the border in Tibet. He and the rest of his team were given a very military escort back across the border and firmly told to stay there"

McGee smiled and shook his head. Gibbs considered how involved McGee could become in his own computer work, sometimes to the detriment of those around him. So that's where he got it from.

Angela looked up at Abby and Ziva for sympathy

"And do you know how I found out about it? An email. Hello Dearest. Miss you terribly. Say hi to Tim and Sarah. China is interesting and might have stumbled into Tibet. Please assure authorities if contacted I am not threatening the Chinese Communist Party in anyway. Should be home next week. May have discovered a new petrified flora and if so will name it after you. All my love David."

McGee rolled his eyes and laughed "Dad really is hopeless sometimes"

Tony watched with envious eyes as Tim's mother pulled out a picture of her husband of nearly thirty five years with obvious affection. The image was of a blue eyed older more tanned version of McGee with silver grey hair. He was smiling at the camera his pretty eyes crinkling up at the sides and he was standing on the edge of some sort of deep Canyon next to a tiny donkey loaded up with supplies.

"Here we go. This is Tim's Father David. This was taken last year in … let's see Paraguay?"

Abby smiled as she considered what Tim would look like when he was older. Not bad. Not bad at all.

"Well I'm sure he just looked at those men with those big eyes of his and they must have known he wasn't dangerous. Well not to them anyway."

Tim rolled his own big eyes "Yes Mom. I'm sure that's how he did it. Now I really think we should go."

McGee started herding his mother up and out of the chair anxious to make it to the elevator.

"Well thank you very much for visiting. It has been most enlightening. I hope you will come and visit us again some time" Tony shook Angela's hand as she stood while grinning at McGee.

"Oh well it was nice finally meeting you all. At least if you hear any of us mention _The Incident_ you will know what we are talking about. It did at least manage to eclipse the previous Incident of Timothy's".

"Previous?" Tony stopped Angela with a gentle touch on her shoulder and McGee groaned. So close!

"No Mom. We have to go. Now!" McGee tried to step in between Tony and his mother but she just side stepped him and settled herself back into the chair.

"OH well you wouldn't know about that one either would you? Well Timothy when he was little you just couldn't leave him alone. For a start he would always tear his clothes off. I was worried he would end up a nudist as I could never keep a pair of pants on him longer than an hour right up until he was four. Most embarrassing. All dressed up clean and neat and respectable ready for when people came to visit and the next minute he would be laughing and running through the house as naked as a jay bird. Although he had the cutest little bottom as he ran around!"

McGee blushed an even darker shade of scarlet and protested loudly.

"Mom. Please!"

"What? You do have a cute bottom. All of the ladies of my circle thought so." Angela turned a puzzled look to her son.

Ziva tried to keep a straight face. "I agree Mrs. McGee, I believe Timothy has a very nice bottom."

Abby flicked Ziva a curious sideways look. Had she been checking out Timmy's butt again?

Gibbs just shook his head and tried to hide his smirk as he considered a bare assed toddler McGee playing in the dirt.

"Well thank you Ziva. Now Timothy was always getting up to some sort of trouble, just like his Father that way I suppose. Not intentionally understand he always was a good boy but just seemed to get into trouble anyway. Well you see when he was nearly five he managed to blow up the kitchen."

"He blew up the kitchen?" Tony was amazed

"Come on I did not! You're exaggerating again" McGee protested loudly

"Timothy you did too! The Fire Bridge had to come and put the fire out and you managed enough of an explosion to blow some of the doors off my new kitchen cabinets. I still don't know how you did it. Some oil and things from the garage and some stuff from his first chemistry set apparently. I would have been rather impressed if I hadn't been so mad."

"Mom. I really don't think…"

"Well Timothy knew he was in trouble and it made a terrible noise which must have scared him silly so he took off. And that's when I really got worried. For three hours we searched everywhere for him. The whole neighborhood pitched in cleaning up the house, getting the nice fireman drinks and sandwiches and of course looking everywhere for you."

McGee just sighed and pouted resigned that his mother wouldn't stop until the story was finished.

"Three hours he was missing? McGee how could you do that to your poor loving mother" Abby punched him in the shoulder and McGee frowned rubbing his arm sulkily.

"Well we looked everywhere. Under the stairs, in the attic, under all the beds, in the car. He was only little so he could fit nearly anywhere. Tim's father even looked up in the neighbors lemon tree although I could have told him Tim would never climb _up _anything if he was scared." She smiled affectionately at her son who was doing his best to ignore her.

"So where was he? You know when you finally found him?" Tony was curious exactly where a baby McGeek would hide

"In the doghouse"

"The doghouse?!" A chorus of surprised voices and laughter echoed around the bull pen.

"Oh yes you see we had an old mix breed shaggy Collie dog then. Bess her name was. Well it seems that Tim had hidden in her dog house in a fright and when all the noise and fuss in the house started getting on old Bess's nerves she retreated to her dog house. I had glanced in but I didn't see him curled up safe and warm in the back and old Bess basically guarding the door. When we finally found Tim he was exhausted and sleeping like a little innocent angel curled up looking cute as a button. I was so grateful he was safe and hadn't been hurt I just couldn't be mad any more. Of course the whole neighborhood had to be told to call off the search and everyone made a big fuss of him. If he had been missing much longer it might have hit the news."

"Ok Mom that is the end of the story and I think you have done enough damage to my reputation for one day Thank you very much. I think it is definitely time to take you out to lunch. You have already caused a scene"

"Oh all right. I suppose we should go" Angela stood and wiggled her fingers in a wave goodbye as Tim hustled her to the elevator.

Tony laughed as he heard Angela's voice as the two of them stepped into the lift

"They all seem perfectly nice. And your making too much of a fuss, Timothy. I didn't create a scene. Although if I wanted to I would have told them about what happened to you on Prom night and how you got that scar on your….."

'Mom!"

The doors closed behind them cutting off her voice and the sound of McGee's enormous sigh. Tony didn't think Angela would be visiting NCIS anytime soon.

(

_(Nothing serious just wanted to get this version Of McGee family out there. Nice family, very polite ... but at the same time you would want to mess with them! They might take you out with a knitting needle. P.S I have some family like this. First time a brought a date home my very prim well dressed aunt ended up stripping her top off and dancing around with a packet of frozen peas on her head. No seriously.)_


End file.
